It all started with lighting Shabbat candles. I recall that my mother lit the candles, but she never taught me. A friend encouraged me to try, and soon a small package arrived in the mail. It contained two brass candlesticks, several short white candles and a prayer, written in English and in phonetic Hebrew.

I lit two candles on Friday night when I thought of it, which usually was as sunset approached. I vaguely knew that candle lighting was some time around sunset. Our town newspaper listed the high and low tides and sunrise and sunset each week, and I posted the information on the refrigerator. When I used up my initial supply of "short white candles," I bought tapers from a gift shop until I found out where to buy "real" Shabbat candles.

In time, I learned about the laws and customs, including that candle lighting time is 18 minutes before sunset and must not be lit after the sun goes down. I learned where to place the candles and what to do before and after the candles are lit. It took me time to put it all together in the right sequence.

Intuitively, I knew that G-d forgave the awkward and haphazard way I initially approached this mitzvah, for each step I took brought me closer. Perhaps He was amused to find one of His daughters so ignorant in our enlightened information age.

Like a true metamorphosis, change occurred slowly. First, the candles came out on Friday night and were set on my kitchen table. I read the blessing for candle lighting phonetically, from the paper my friend sent me. It occurred to me one week that it just wasn't right to place the candlesticks on a bare table, so I began to cover the table first. Using one of the lovely damask tablecloths I had inherited from my grandmother seemed appropriate.

As long as there was a cloth and candles, why not have a nice family meal? The children enjoyed "eating by candlelight" and having a fancy dinner where we were the guests.

One winter, I added the ancient challah tradition; I enjoy baking bread and the aroma of fresh baked challah is so wonderful.

How about some wine to complement the setting of food, tablecloth and candles?

Later came a special cup for the wine, a meal and special songs to add to the festivity of the evening.

While these changes evolved very slowly, one day I realized that I was "bringing in Shabbos" exactly as Jewish women have for centuries! During this time I was reading and studying on my own. Without a teacher, my only driving force was a strong desire to learn and the basic understanding that everything about Shabbat is special.

My hunger for experience was exceeded only by my thirst for knowledge. I remember driving two hours each way to a Judaica shop to buy a "real" kiddush cup!

The external changes in my home reflected the inner awakening. I was beginning to understand the mystical, beautiful traditions of Shabbat, which is central to Jewish life.

Early in the week I start to plan for Shabbat-what foods to serve, with whom we will share the time, which clothes need to be cleaned, and so on.

By Friday afternoon, I have already completed most of the preparation and begin to "wind down" in anticipation of the transition from the mundane to the sacred. To make the 25 plus hours of Shabbat special and distinct from the rest of the week, many routine activities are prohibited.

Rather than being a constraint, I find it quite liberating. The unopened mail is piled high; the answering machine light beeps, bills and messages await our return. In exchange, we are free to study, question and wonder. Free to delve into the deeper meaning of Torah and reflect on the ultimate serenity of life of the World to Come.

My brass candlesticks have been replaced with silver. The original ones my friend sent me are now used by my daughters who, like their mother, are moving forward and upward with confidence. I am sure that G-d is pleased by our efforts and progress. May our efforts move us closer to the time when every day will be Shabbat.

Reprinted from the N'Shei Chabad Newsletter