"Welcome to the Repentance Hot Line. Your call is very important. If calling during the Ten Days of Repentance when G-d is closer, this is a local call, instead of the usual long distance.

Press #10 now.

“During this time, you will hear one long note, three short beeps, nine shorter beeps, and a long note. This series will repeat several times, followed by a longer final note at the end.”

For Ashkenazic pronunciation, bevakosho (please) press A. For Sephardic, bevakashah press S.
You may use any language, as long as it comes from the heart.

Repentance calls for patience and persistence. If you do not get through the first time, try again. If you still don’t get through, try again. Do not hang up!

“If you feel that you have reached us in error, this is the right place, for 'to err is human, to forgive is Divine.’ 'This call is audio-visually monitored by 'The Eye that sees, the Ear that hears, and All your deeds are recorded.'

Your call may be interspersed with moving renditions of Avinu Malkenu and Kol Nidrei melodies.
Lip service is unacceptable. If you are not serious, please hang up, try pressing 'Return' and call back again.

”To review your annual balance, here are some helpful numbers:

For Mitzvot in general,
Press #613

For a positive commandment,
Press #248

For a negative commandment,
Press #365

For Rabbinic laws use extension 7.

In case of a bad connection, Press 1 for Teshuvah, press 2 for Prayer, and Press 3 for Charity to remove the bad decree.

You may
Press 1 for G-d Is One,
M to ask for Moshiach.

Press 0 to delete misdeeds,

Are you sure you want to delete your transgressions at this time?

“If you sinned against another person, you must contact them first, and then call back after they forgive.

“If you sincerely regret past transgressions, but don't know where to begin, consult the Yom Kippur prayer book’s alphabetical Al Chet directory. Use right hand to press pound at each listing. Thanks to our special Teshuvah advantage program, all your debits are turned into credits."

All transfers to charity will be fully credited to your account. Enter pledge now.

Press #18 to contribute multiples of Chai.

May you be inscribed for a GOOD NEW YEAR.

Thank you, and please call again."