Many regard the attraction between the sexes as a primal impulse, a biological instinct or an emotional need. Judaism, however, views the attraction between a man and a woman as a sacred search deeply imbedded in the cosmic makeup of the universe.

The spiritual mystery of the union between man and woman is alluded to in the name given to the festival of Shavuot. In the Talmud, Shavuot is referred to as "The Wedding Day." What Wedding occurred on this day? At Mount Sinai G-d gave us the gift of the Torah - a blueprint to spiritualize the physical world. Shavuot is thus a marriage between G-d and Israel, between heaven and earth.

The use of the term marriage in relation to the giving of the Torah suggests a parallel to physical marriage. The Giving of the Torah was an awesome Divine experience. What does this unique spiritual encounter between man and G-d have to do with the corporeal marriage between a man and woman? Let us explore some parallels between the divine and the human models of marriage.

The midrash relates that before G-d gave the Torah to Israel, He said: "Accept Me - and then accept My rules." In a marriage relationship, it is essential to accept and embrace your partner as they are in essence, before addressing individual needs. Marriage is not only a contract to fulfill duties: "I will look after the kids and cook the meals if you take out the garbage and pay the bills." Marriage is not merely a composite of details. Marriage is about embracing another soul in your life.

There are two kinds of love: selfish and selfless love. Selfish love is conditional - you love on condition that your needs are met, and when your partner falls short of serving your needs, you are tempted to search elsewhere. With conditional love, we see our partners as an extension of ourselves and feel that it is our responsibility to correct or change them.

Although we constantly learn from each other, the role of a spouse is not that of an authority or a teacher, but that of an equal. The Torah tells us that marriage begins with unconditional love and acceptance of the entire person - first "accept Me" and the details will follow.

At Mount Sinai, G-d initiated a reciprocal relationship, a partnership with mankind. When G-d descended onto Mount Sinai, Moses responded by ascending the mountain. Judaism teaches that the relationship between man and G-d is not an immature reliance or passive dependence on Heaven. We believe that G-d's blessing is present in all that we do, but it is incumbent on us to utilize the tools and resources to fashion a vessel to contain the blessing.

The give and take of a dynamic relationship between husband and wife necessitates a mature sense of self. Ascending the mountain symbolizes the confidence that you matter, that you have a vital role to play in the world. When this is lacking, unhealthy co-dependence arises, where partners rely on each other to compensate for their own lacking. Marriage partners should look to each other to complement who they are, so that together they can create a powerful partnership.

G-d shared a vision with us at Mount Sinai, a blueprint of how to bring sanctity and spirituality into the world. An ingredient most lacking in marriages today is a shared spiritual vision. People often marry because of physical, intellectual, emotional and psychological compatibility, but don't take into consideration spiritual compatibility.

Spiritual compatibility entails not just a shared desire to build a family, it also involves a spiritual vision of how you, as a couple and a family, will impact the world. How you envision your unique contribution to others; how you intend to build something greater than both of you.

Shavuot, the Wedding Day, inspires us to view marriage not just as a union between two persons, but as the marriage between heaven and earth, between G-d and man. When we harness the mystical power of love and marriage, recognizing it as a manifestation of the divine union, our marriages will become a microcosm of a cosmic marriage. This unity will penetrate through the physical and spiritual dimensions shining a light for eternity.