The day we got engaged we went to visit my wife’s grandmother, who was 83 at the time. With a smile on her face and a sparkle in her eye, she said: "I wish that the excitement and love you feel for each other today will stay with you for the rest of your lives."

At the time, we didn’t quite appreciate the wisdom in her words. As years went by and we walked through the path of life together, it began to make more and more sense.

Human nature is such, that when we are on the lookout for a relationship, whether it be a working one, a social one, or for the purpose of marriage, we focus on the strong points that the potential partner possesses. An emotional chemistry is created and an attraction develops.

Everything s/he says and does is fantastic. If he interrupts me it’s because he loves me so much and wants to tell me all about himself. If she's messy, it’s because she puts all her energy into our relationship. If he's late, it’s because he stopped on the way home to buy me a gift.

As time goes on, our partner's weaknesses (which were always there) begin to irritate us. Interruptions are rude. The mess isn’t tolerated and we can’t put up with the lateness. We find him/her less attractive than when we first met and we wonder why the spark and excitement is gone.

The average person today learns about love and relationships through movies and songs. The images of the perfect relationship and the faultless person are unfulfilled dreams that some of us expect in reality, without being ready and willing to work for it.

One reason for the ancient Jewish custom that a bride's face is covered during the marriage ceremony is to symbolize the complete commitment of one to the other, the acceptance also of those parts of our spouse's character that are covered now, to be revealed later.

The secret for a long-term, successful, happy relationship and that is the power of acceptance. Acceptance does not mean that we agree with the other person's behavior or shortcomings; it simply means accepting them as they are, without working a lifetime trying to change them, just as we accept ourselves the way we are with all our shortcomings.

Once we learn to accept our spouse for what s/he is rather than what we would want them to be, the energy wasted on constant criticism can be used to build and nurture the relationship.

This is also true of the parent-child relationship. Some parents fail to accept their children the way they are. Communicating with their child, they convey an open or implicit message: "Why are you not like X?” (i.e., what I believe a good child is supposed to be like).

This creates a distance between parent and child. When we truly accept our children the way they are and the way they are not, we will experience a new and better relationship that we never experienced before.