For, just as we celebrate with Four Cups of Wine, Four Questions and Four Sons, we also have before us Four Grades of Gefilte Fish, ranging from the bottom of the barrel to the top of the line. Indeed, they are:

The Gefilte that says nothing:
This Gefilte is so bottled up, that it is up to you to force it open, or cut through a metal lid to extricate the poor glob drowning in broth. And you shall pitifully say to it: “Woe and alas that they call you a Gefilte.”

The Simple Gefilte snaps:
“Whassup?” And thou shalt state briefly:
“All that is mediocre, bland and blah is not recommended for the night of the Seder.”

The Wicked Gefilte carps:
“So what’s wrong with including additives, preservatives and all other kinds of artificial stuff, as long as it is permitted by law?” And thou shalt clench thy teeth and respond: “We must learn to Passover, and always strive only for the best..”

The Wise Gefilte says eloquently and tastefully, with class and with dignity: “What is the reason that A&B is preferred over all other brands?” And thou shalt openly declare: “Because A&B offers the greatest level of quality and of Kashrut. It stands out as the very best of the whole Seder dinner until the eating of the Afikoman.”